‘Riverdale’ Chapter Fifty Recap: Jones Blood Is Thicker Than Water

The episode opens on Jughead saying, “What exactly is the American dream?” Cut to a montage featuring himself, FP (Skeet Ulrich), Jellybean (Trinity Likins) and Gladys sitting at the kitchen table.

When Gladys reveals that she purchased a house for their new “family,” she brings them to the Cooper home, where Alice (Mädchen Amick) and Betty (Lili Reinhart) are trying—and failing—to conceal the fire damage from last week’s episode.

As it turns out, Gladys paid for the house in cash, which explains the “anonymous buyer” situation. Although the living room is charred to a crisp, the family doesn’t seem to care.

At the police station, Alice confronts FP, asking if he really wants to live in her old house. After reminding him that Gladys left him, she demands to know if he loves her. He says, “She’s the mother of my children.”

“And me?” Alice asks. FP shuts her down, telling her “it’s over.”

Elsewhere, Jughead sits down with his mom and presses her on her new purchase. Gladys explains that she sees it as a “do over” and a “chance to be a real family.”

To top it off, FP’s 50th birthday is coming up, and she’s throwing a bash that warrants a speech from Jughead. He hesitantly agrees.

Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) and Toni (Vanessa Morgan) are still struggling to mend their relationship. When Cheryl surprises her with a ski trip to Mont Blanc, Toni brushes it off, saying she already has plans.

Later on, Cheryl bakes a basket of goodies for Toni to “clear the air.” When she arrives at La Bonne Nuit, Toni is onstage with Veronica, singing a song about how she “just met somebody new.” Ouch.

When Cheryl tries to steal money from the safe, Toni stops her and demands she explain herself.

“What are you gonna do? Cuff me?” Cheryl asks. This prompts Toni to walk over to her and unzip her dress.

At La Bonne Nuit, Veronica finds herself stuck between her speakeasy and her lover. When Reggie (Charles Melton) asks to be her business partner, she says it “wouldn’t be wise” because she still owes her dad a lot of money. He doesn’t take it well.

Later on, Veronica is forced to call FP after someone threw a cup of hot coffee at a customer. The worst part? The person appeared to be high on Fizzle Rocks, which is supposedly extinct.

When FP arrives, he’s accompanied by Jughead, since the Serpents are now joining forces with the deputies. Although he can’t do much about it, he promises to find out who’s responsible.

That night, Veronica invites Betty over for a sleepover and reveals that Mrs. Jones (aka Gladys) is up to no good. In fact, she’s taking over the drug trade in Riverdale. Gulp.

The next day, Veronica confronts Reggie, who has been sulking ever since she denied his promotion.

Reggie says, “Answer me honestly: Would we even be dating if it weren’t for the speakeasy?”

Her answer? “Probably not.”

In light of befriending the orphan in last week’s episode, Archie is distraught about being marked as the “Red Paladin.” When he meets up with Betty and Jughead at Pops Diner, things only get worse when they reveal that they found multiple quest cards.

So, Archie turns to the all-knowing Hiram, who admits that he printed “at least a dozen.” Go figure.

When Archie realizes that tracking down the rest of the cards is nearly impossible, he comes up with an alternative plan with Jughead and Betty. If they alter the rules of the quest, Archie will be in the clear. Instead of killing the Red Paladin, the players will need to challenge Archie, who has to “defend the mountain for 12 hours.”

Betty pulls Jughead aside and brings up the Fizzle Rock situation. When he points his finger at Hiram, Betty lets him down gently, saying, “My source tells me your mom is stepping in, Jug.” Although he claims he’ll look into it, something’s not right.

With the help of Hiram (barf), Archie finds a location to hold the Red Paladin fight: a hole-in-the-wall boxing gym.

It doesn’t take long for a herd of people to arrive to challenge Archie, who—of course—pulls through with a “W.”

Even better, Hiram lets him keep the keys to the gym to make amends for distributing the cards.

Here’s what happened during the final moments of Chapter Fifty:

• When Jughead confronts his mom for dealing drugs, she brushes it off, saying, “It’s about time the Joneses got a taste of it: the American dream.”
• Cheryl tells Kevin (Casey Cott) that she already chose this year’s musical theme: Heathers. #Bless
• Although Jughead avoids throwing Gladys under the bus during his birthday speech, he confirms that his main goal is to run her out of town.

All we have to say is…poor FP. Riverdale returns to The CW next Wednesday, March 20, at 8 p.m.